After all of the fun had making jokes about the Eagles in our NFL Draft Live Blog, we thought it would be a good idea to try our hats at it again for the NBA Draft. As always, this will be a mix of instant analysis, hot takes, and playful banter between our Head & Heart Sports contributors.
Nick Bair: Looking back at old #tbt draft pictures, I really miss David Stern. Despite being a terrible human being, he was a legend.
Jordan Curet: Legend is a … strong word. Ruthless dictator, maybe.
NB: Why does Brandon Ingram look so unhappy? He is going to LA! Cheer up dude!
JC: Better than Philly. Poor Simmons. And the 76ers still haven’t found a way to offload a big man to make room.
Randy Haines: Either Okafor or Noel will be dealt by the end of the night, put that on the board.
NB: I like draft night prognostications that we can prove wrong right away. Thanks Randy.
RH: I do what I can.
JC: Does make everything better to instantly tell him he’s wrong doesn’t it? Simple things in life. Sadly, our own Sean Demetrakis won’t be here to enjoy it until at least the late first round.
RH: Showing highlights of Porzingis already, that poor guy is in for a long year with that circus.
RH: Kings trying to trade for D’Angelo Russell??? The Lakers are not that dumb right?
NB: It is not very hard to rip GM Vlade off. Wait to see what the deal is before you judge the 16 time world champion Lakers.
RH: If they are not getting Boogie, there’s nothing left to take. Unless it’s a pick swap for each of the next 17 years.
JC: Oh no they stole the touch screens from the Situation Room and are using the same kind of terrible graphics. There were no good ideas to steal from CNN.
RH: Wolf Blitzer or Wale, who is the better Wizards fan?
NB: We need cooler celeb fans.
JC: Completely disrespecting Wale there, Randy.
RH: Wolf does the real Situation Room before every home game, he is a better fan. I also saw him on the metro after a game one time, that has to count for something.
NB: And here we go…
JC: Are they contractually obligated to use most of their five minutes, even though we all know who Philly is picking?
NB: If they are trying to trade for the third pick, they might want to use as much time as possible to get a deal done.
- Philadelphia – Ben Simmons, Forward, LSU
RH: Hinkie lives on!!!
NB: The Process! Pour one out for Hinkie.
JC: [Hinkie sits in a dark room, cigar lit, sipping bourbon]: Told you [Turns TV Off]
NB: Simmons will be a great professional basketball player. Well done Philly.
RH: Simmons Wentz presidential ticket in 2036.
NB: You get to mention Wentz one time tonight. That’s the max.
RH: Aaron Nola secretary of state. Ok I’m done.
RH: I kind of want the Lakers to do something dumb here like trade Ingram for Reggie Jackson. That would be just the best.
JC: That is a TALL basketball team. Good lord.
NB: You can’t teach height. Right guys?
- Los Angeles Lakers – Brandon Ingram, Forward, Duke
RH: Like the NFL draft, we start when we get to pick 3.
JC: I cannot be happy for Dook. Plus, that guy looked high every game this past year.
NB: Of course the Lakers have a superstar fall into their laps. Ingram will take Hollywood by storm. Hopefully he learns to smile.
RH: Hopefully they keep him as far away from Swaggy P as possible.
NB: LOL “bring professionalism to the team”. Ingram has read the locker room scouting report for his new squad.
RH: Someone is holding a “Hinkie 3:16” sign in the crowd.
JC: Luke Walton with a pretty great situation for his first year, assuming Swaggy P is shipped out.
RH: Swaggy had a really disturbing IG post earlier of him singing a Drake song. (Yes I follow Swaggy P on IG)
- Boston (From Brooklyn) – Jaylen Brown, Forward, Cal
JC: Well, that was a little anticlimactic. Was really hoping Philly would sell out for this pick and Boston would add to their war chest, maybe just stockpile picks until the end of time.
NB: Still wouldn’t be surprised if Boston eventually ships Jaylen Brown somewhere. But I do like Brown if they keep him.
RH: What was that? Has to be a trade chip.
RH: Well Nick there goes our mock.
NB: You had the 3rd pick… Don’t blame me.
RH: I like Brown’s suit though. Classy yet flashy.
JC: He doesn’t have an agent!? Bold strategy.
- Phoenix – Dragan Bender, Forward, Croatia
NB: The Dragan! Also, my mock draft picks are still perfect…
RH: Love this pick. And yeah yeah yeah…
JC: That kid’s name is just going to be fun to hear/say all year next year. On top of that, Phoenix continues to collect great (very) young talent.
RH: Reports say Boston is keeping Brown. Not sure why they didn’t just trade for him. Not very Ainge-like.
JC: Thibs wants Dunn … Philly is willing to pay a lot … who wins?
RH: Bulls are heavy in the running also, who does Thibs want more Dunn or Butler? Thibs did try to run Jimmy Butler into the ground once already.
- Minnesota – Kris Dunn, Guard, Providence
NB: Friars! Really happy for Kris.
JC: Bet you he gets traded.
RH: Yeah I don’t think we’ve heard the last of this situation. Either way, how good are the Wolves going to be for the next decade?
NB: In theory? Awesome. But the Timberwolves do not have a track record of success in their franchise history.
JC: They have all the pieces and basically a sure bet in KAT. This is the franchise to watch. Dunn or no Dunn. Also, great to see how much this means to a player.
RH: Minneapolis doesn’t exactly have best history in general (Sorry Vikings fans).
NB: I love Dunn, but the John Wall comparison is a little lofty ESPN.
RH: Those shoes though.
JC: Did NOT need the UNC highlights. No reminders of the tournament, please.
NB: You made the Championship game. Life isn’t that bad.
- New Orleans – Buddy Hield, Guard, Oklahoma
NB: Buddy and Brow. I hope for Davis’s sake that he is the real deal.
RH: [The Brow pops bottle of champagne, yells out]: “Finally!”
JC: If Hield can space the floor at the NBA level, give AD more room to operate, then this is exactly what the Pelicans needed. Assuming the injury curse doesn’t strike again.
RH: He doesn’t even need to be that special, they just need real NBA players around him.
NB: The biggest surprise of the draft might be the lack of trades so far. A lot of smoke, not a lot of fire.
RH: I think Minnesota pulls the trigger soon, plus the Sixers haven’t moved Noel or Okafor yet.
JC: I agree, been a bit dull so far. Want to talk about #BREXIT?
- Denver (From New York) – Jamal Murray, Guard, Kentucky
NB: I still do not think Murray will be very good and I do not think he pairs well with Mudiay. No one will watch the Nuggets next year anyways.
JC: I’m not a huge fan of Murray, but Denver doesn’t have great guards beyond Mudiay, so who knows.
TRADE ALERT!!!! – Sacramento trades #8 pick to Phoenix
JC: Finally, some action.
RH: What did Vlade do now?!?! I cannot wait for the details of this trade.
- Phoenix (From Sacramento) -Marquese Chriss, Forward, Washington
NB: Phoenix trying to be the youngest team in the league. A lot of potential, but can they develop their young guys? Devin Booker, Chriss, and Bender all still teenagers.
JC: Fouled out more than half of his games? That’s incredible. Guy after my own heart there.
RH: Brandon Knight is reportedly in the deal, did Vlade do something halfway smart?
NB: Bucks wants Randy’s guy Thon Maker at #10. Oh boyyyyyyyyyyy.
RH: I didn’t even have him that high. Did Wisconsin legalize marijuana recently?
JC: Also, no, no Brandon Knight. Nothing smart about it.
RH: Well now apparently he is not in the deal, thought Vlade might have accomplished something for a minute, should’ve known. The Kings do now have 13, 22 and 28. Not bad.
- Toronto (From Denver via New York) – Jakob Poeltl, Forward, Utah
NB: This makes sense. The Raptors go with the safe pick. Nothing flashy, but he will be a decent player for Toronto.
RH: Yeah he definitely feels like a Raptor. He also just inspired a Von Trapp family joke on TV, Bilas really reaching there.
JC: Wonder what that means for Biyombo long term.
NB: If Thon Maker is the 10th best player in this draft, the Wizards did great trading away what became the 13th pick for Markieff Morris.
RH: Man, what did Thon ever do to you?
JC: You say that now, but what happens if Point Giannis is throwing alley-oops to Maker all year next year? Bucks are the other team I would keep an eye on along with the Wolves.
- Milwaukee – Thon Maker, Forward, Australia
NB: Well I’m going down with the Thon is garbage ship. Unreal pick.
JC: Another good story, though. Although the post-graduate year in Canada thing is a weird twist.
RH: I like Thon, but I’m not sure this pick makes much sense.
JC: I think it makes sense if they are thinking they might be upgrading on John Henson. Play a similar game.
NB: Jordan sneaking in trash UNC players is almost as bad as Randy talking about Wentz.
JC: Trash is probably overstating it just a bit.
RH: Since you brought him up this time, does that mean I can talk about him again?
Ghost of Sean Demetrakis: No.
- Orlando – Domantas Sabonis, Forward, Gonzaga
JC: I can’t decide if I care what the Magic do.
NB: I don’t understand what the Magic are doing constructing their roster. They have a handful of interesting players, but I still don’t see them getting any better.
TRADE ALERT!!!! Oklahoma City has traded Serge Ibaka to the Magic.
RH: Uhhhhh, what?
NB: Hmmm, I take back my last comment. Maybe they finally have some good ideas. Will have to see what the trade is.
RH: Sabonis has to be in it I would imagine.
JC: Cannot believe they would trade Ibaka after what he unlocked for them in the Western Conference Finals.
TRADE UPDATE: OKC has traded Serge Ibaka to the Magic for Victor Oladipo, Ersan Ilyasova and the draft rights to Domantas Sabonis.
NB: Thunder preparing for KD’s departure. #KD2DC
RH: I guess that is what it means. Well we wanted some trades and we sure as hell got
JC: So Sabonis and Oladipo to the Thunder… interesting. Not sure I see the two of them making OKC competitive if KD leaves, even in the long run.
NB: Does Oladipo and Rusty make sense in the backcourt? Do their games work together? That will be interesting to watch next season. Also, does this make the Magic any better?
RH: Yeah Orlando has a loaded front court now, maybe they have another trade in the works.
JC: I would say no to all of that. Two basically non-shooters who thrive getting to the rim and with the ball.
- Atlanta (From Utah) – Taurean Prince, Forward, Baylor
NB: A Demarre Carroll replacement a year later? They look like twins with that hair style and play a similar game. Can’t wait to see Jordan wear his jersey to the games next year. Huge Hawks fan.
JC: (A) No. (B) Preparing for the end of the current Atlanta squad. This is going to make things interesting for the Hawks, seems like they are shook from getting beat by the Cavs in the playoffs so much and are opting to make a lot of changes.
RH: Yeah this isn’t the Horford insurance I thought they’d go for.
RH: Now the moment we’ve all been waiting for, what will Vlade do?
NB: Ironically with the Wizards pick.
JC: On a side note, the Twitter rumor-mill is going strong on a Wolves/Bulls trade. When someone says talks are in an “advanced” stage, what does that look like? Are they yelling now? Were they just semi-joking around on the phone with each other earlier?
NB: Thibs is threatening to tell the media where the bodies are buried in Chicago. The Bulls owe him one after canning him last year.
- Sacramento (From Washington via Phoenix) – Georgios Papagiannis, Center, Greece
JC: So much overseas love this year with a new Vlade reach. I also appreciate that Woj hasn’t been tweeting the picks that far ahead, very considerate of him.
NB: Sean would be pumped seeing his fellow Greek drafted. And this guy loves Creed. This is Sean’s hero.
RH: Was this guy even supposed to go in the first round? Vlade strikes again!
NB: He was not in Chad Ford’s top 30. Classic Kings.
RH: I said it in our mock and I’ll say it again here, Poor Boogie.
JC: Anyhow, good job WizKids?
- Chicago – Denzel Valentine, Forward, Michigan St.
JC: And now we are back to known quantities, with a solid player coming from a good college program. Nothing wrong with taking Valentine who at worst is going to offer you a solid system player.
NB: Is this a Jimmy Butler replacement? Will that trade happen? Also, who is going to play point guard for them?
RH: He can’t be the next Draymond if he’s picked this high, sorry Denzel.
RH: Kirk Hinrich about to get a lot of PT.
JC: With that, I am out. Good luck with the rest of draft Gentlemen and Dion.
JC: WAIT ONE MORE THING. BOOGIE’S LAST TWEET. Yes, everything is back to being right with NBA Twitter. Okay. Good night.
- Denver (From Houston) – Juan Hernangomez, Forward, Spain
RH: Denver still the most boring team in your mind Nick?
NB: Yes. Not even close.
SD: Can’t wait to see this guy lose to the US with my guys the Gasol bros this summer.
NB: He is baaaaaaaack. Welcome to the draft Sean!
SD: I need a dirty Terp to get drafted now that the NBA has waited for me to get in front of the TV.
RH: Diamond Stone to the Kings at 28? Does that work for you?
SD: LOL at Skal. That fool should have stayed another year.
NB: Randy loves that guy. The kiss of death.
SD: That is not good for his business
RH: A guy with a name like that has no chance at failing.
- Boston (From Dallas) – Guerschon Yabusele, Forward, France
NB: I hope they stash him because they have zero roster space for this guy.
RH: Could he be headed to another team? Stash or trade that is really all they can do with this guy.
SD: I see Wojnarowski is still killing it announcing picks an hour before they are made.
RH: Woj is the best/worst Twitter follow on draft night.
- Memphis – Wade Baldwin IV, Guard, Vanderbilt
NB: Mike Conley replacement alert. Short move for Baldwin from Nashville to Memphis. Nice pick by the Grizz. And gotta love the IV.
SD: Big fan of the suffixes. Especially IVs. Acie Law IV was my guy back in the day.
RH: I think Memphis knows it is time to start over, they are not winning in the current NBA the way they are built.
- Detroit – Henry Ellenson, Forward, Marquette
NB: I like his potential. Detroit is building a good, tough team.
SD: What is up with these random one and dones getting drafted this high? Was he really that good at Marquette? Maybe he is legit and I’ve just never heard about him because he plays out of the weak Big East.
RH: Ellenson is to me what Thon Maker is to Nick, I just do not see it with this guy.
NB: How dare you compare anyone to Thon Maker? At least we have seen Ellenson play competitive basketball. Not a shady Canadien prep school league that may or may not be real.
RH: Exactly my point, we’ve seen Ellenson play competitive basketball.
RH: I love how Jalen Rose points out some of the player comparisons career earnings, you can tell who he thought was overpaid. It’s great TV.
NB: Stevie Blake listed as a KEY reserve for the Pistons.
SD: Stevie Blake = G.O.A.T.
- Denver (From Portland) – Malik Beasley, Guard, Florida St.
NB: Nuggets again? The NBA is trolling me.
RH: Like it or not, they’re having a good draft. Nice young backcourt forming out there and Jokic is a beast.
- Brooklyn (From Indiana) – Caris LeVert, Guard, Michigan
SD: This guy is a liability. Never healthy and really not anything special.
NB: The Nets are almost as boring as the Nuggets, but they at least provide some comic relief.
NB: Also, it sounds like Jimmy Butler is staying in Chicago. Hopefully that means Dunn stays with the T’Wolves as well.
RH: Still waiting on that big Sixers trade I predicted….
NB: LOL GM Randy.
- Atlanta – DeAndre Bembry, Forward, St. Joseph’s
NB: Woj just tweeted breaking news that Jordan left the live blog to go to a Hawks Draft Party. What a loyal fan.
SD: They really had to stretch for a stat there for Skal. That guy did nothing outstanding for Big Blue Nation.
NB: Seems like a reach, but I always respect a St Joe’s pick. Great hair too.
SD: Might be a stretch but he can get buckets. He is a Philly guy though which will hurt him.
RH: Lack of respect all the way around. Now everyone buckle up, Vlade is on the clock again.
- Sacramento (From Charlotte) – Malachi Richardson, Guard, Syracuse
RH: Also, big shoutout to MJ for trading a first round pick for maybe an 8th man.
SD: I hate that a Syracuse guy just got drafted here.
NB: Can we just bring Boogie to DC now? John Wall needs to save his boy.
RH: How do you make a better pick at 22 than you did at 13? #FreeBoogie
SD: Don’t underestimate the Greeks.
- Boston – Ante Zizic, Center, Croatia
NB: Danny Ainge accumulates more picks than Bill Belichick. Sadly, it doesn’t help as much in basketball. Another stash guy?
SD: The C’s are way ahead of schedule on their “rebuild”.
RH: They might riot in Boston tonight.
NB: Boston fans will be fine. Crybabies.
- Philadelphia (From Miami via Cleveland) Timothe Luwaua, Forward, France
NB: Love this guy. He dunks on everyone in his highlights. But the Sixers need some players who can help the roster now. Hopefully Timothe can.
RH: Trust. The. Process.
RH: Three green room guys still sitting out there, craziness.
- Los Angeles Clippers – Brice Johnson, Forward, North Carolina
Ghost of JC: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
RH: I hope he enjoys the end of the bench, that will be the case as long as Doc is there.
RH: “Hinkie died for your sins” Another great sign in the stands tonight.
SD: Brice was a really good college player and that’s about it.
- Philadelphia (From Oklahoma City via Denver and Cleveland) – Furkan Korkmaz, Forward, Turkey
RH: Is this a real person? There must be a mistake somewhere, he’s not on my list.
NB: I drafted him in our mock draft at #16. Clearly you were paying a ton of attention.
RH: Ehhh doesn’t matter, still got Simmons.
SD: My guy Stone could go here to the Traptors.
RH: It’s gotta be Skal right? They almost took him at #9.
- Toronto – Pascal Siakam, Forward, New Mexico St.
SD: “It’s gotta be Skal” LOL.
RH: I get zero love.
RH: Did these guys have a Laremy Tunsil draft night incident that we’re not aware of?
NB: No, GMs just watched some tape and realized they were garbage.
SD: Randy, you watched how many minutes of college basketball this year? And how many of those were of Kentucky? My guess is zero because you think that guy is something.
NB: I know my Spurs are going to draft an unknown international guy, but I would be so pumped if they took Tyler Ulis.
SD: Ulis can ball. He’s going to be a steal for whatever team takes him.
- Sacramento (From Cleveland via Boston and Phoenix) – Skal Labissiere, Forward, Kentucky
NB: LOL Kings
RH: Calipari has to go coach the Kings now right? Boogie, Cauley-Stein and now Skal.
NB: Rondo is a Kentucky guy too. Pre-Calipari, but still.
- San Antonio – Dejounte Murray, Guard, Washington
NB: NICE! Not Ulis, but Murray may actually be better! Spurs are so smart.
RH: Rich get richer.
SD: How were the Huskies only an 18 win NIT team with Chriss and Murray on the same team?
NB: Buford and Pop just LOL’ing at the rest of the league.
RH: Do the Warriors take Davis or go with a center?
NB: Diamond Stone? Robert Carter? Sean needs a Terp.
SD: I want zero Terps playing with the “MVP” and Draymond. #hottake
- Golden State – Damian Jones, Center, Vanderbilt
NB: Welp. Noel and Okafor are still 76ers. Once again, LOL GM Randy.
-Nick Bair, Jordan Curet, Sean Demetrakis & Randy Haines
Photo Credit: alldayNBA.com